Why The Fuck Are You Ignoring Forest Fires?
by Walter Bryan Cranston White
Summary: Stan wants to do something about the Amazon Rainforest being on fire (Part 1 of 2)


Tegridy Farms.

Randy and Sharon were watching TV.

Announcer: This is channel 5 news with Tom Pusslicker.

Tom: Good evening. Shocking news, the Amazon rain forest is still on fire and so far everyone still doesn't give a shit. I mean it was ignored for a week. The President of Brazil, Jair Bolsonaro replied "What rainforest?" When asked a question about the fire.

Randy: Boy this is getting boring.

Sharon: Tell me about it.

Tom: Enviromental activist and actor, Leonardo DiCaprio had this to say on his social media. "This is a tragedy. I don't know why the environment hating Brazilian government is doing nothing about it".

Sharon: Boy I wonder who will take this seriously?

Stan suddenly ran downstairs.

Stan: Mom! Dad! The Amazon rainforest is on fire and the Brazilian government are doing nothing about it!

Randy: Yeah I know Stan. It sounds horrible.

Randy wasn't really concerned.

Sharon: Yeah. I agree it sounds awful.

Sharon wasn't really concerned about it either.

Stan: You two don't seem concerned about it.

Randy: What? Of course we are Stan.

Stan gave Randy a suspicious look.

Stan: Don't you two realise that the Amazon rainforest is like 20% of our oxygen? And also there are animals that might have nowhere to go because their home has been destroyed and you two don't seem to care!

Randy: Of course we do Stan.

Towelie suddenly burst in.

Towelie: Hey Randy. I was cooking some more of the good shit and I accidentally set a forest on fire.

Stan: How did you manage to get close to a forest?!

Towelie: I work in a shed just near the forest where I make crystal meth for Gustavo Fring.

Stan grabbed a fire extinguisher and ran out of the house.

Randy grabbed Stan.

Randy: Leave the forest fire alone Stan! It's only a small forest so it's not a big deal!

Stan: But it's spreading! Let me go! I have to stop it!

Sharon: Stanley Marsh! Go to your room! Now young man!

Stan stopped struggling and went upstairs to his room.

Randy: Wait, you make crystal meth for Gustavo Fring?

Towelie: Yeah.

Sharon: You do realise he's fiction right?

Towelie: But I saw him!

Randy: No you were high.

Towelie: You were high!

Randy: I wasn't. But I am now!

Sharon: Randy! I said don't get high when it's "us" night!

Randy: Oh look what you made me do you stupid towel!

Towelie: You're a towel.

South Park Elementary.

Stan approached his four friends.

Stan: Hey guys.

Cartman: Hey hippie.

Stan: Are you guys sick of how the Brazilian government is doing nothing about the Amazon Rainforest on fire?

Kenny: What fire?

Stan: What?!

Kyle: Stan, it's just a forest fire. They happen all the time, they'll die out eventually.

Stan: Are you high Kyle?

Kyle: No.

Cartman: Let me explain something clear to you Stan, we don't care about the Amazon Rainforest!

Stan: Are you guys serious? There are innocent animals who are in the rainforest trying to survive.

Cartman: That place has Jaguars! That's why I don't wanna save it.

Stan: Cartman, what kind of excuse is that?

Cartman: Well do you wanna know why the poachers kill those things? Because they're murderers.

Stan: They kill them for their fur.

Cartman: Well that's your point of view and this is mine.

Stan: Kenny?

Kenny: Well my TV doesn't have news channels, so I don't know.

Stan: Kyle?

Kyle: Sorry dude. I just don't care.

Stan: What the fuck is wrong with you guys?! Kyle, you have good intentions, Kenny you sometimes do and Cartman, you're a psychopath! I thought you were my friends, I thought you would've helped me at least! Well I'm hosting an event at the community centre to try and raise money for the Amazon!

Kyle: When did you have enough time to set that up?

Stan: That doesn't matter. There's gonna be a lot of people who actually care about this, you'll see!

South Park Community Centre.

Stan was taking centre stage.

Stan: Hello everyone. Thanks for coming tonight, looks like we have a lot of people here.

The only people that were there were, Randy, Sharon, Shelly, Butters and a guy.

Butters: Go Stan!

Stan: Alright. My name is Stan Marsh and I would like to talk to you about a crisis.

Stan turned on the screen to show his presentation.

Stan: The Amazon rainforest-

Suddenly a loud burp was heard.

And it came from Randy.

Randy: Sorry Stan. I had like thir-thir-thirteen beers earlier.

Sharon: Randy! We are here to support our son in his cause even if we don't care about it.

Stan: Thanks Mom. The Amazon rainforest has been on fire for months and the Brazilian government is-

Shelly: I don't care!

Randy: Well said Shelly!

Sharon: Randy and young lady, you better-

Randy: Let our daughter speak Sharon! She barley spoke ever since we moved house.

Shelly: I still don't forgive you for killing Larry.

Stan: Are you two done?

Randy: Yeah Stan.

Randy made a zipping mouth shut gesture.

Stan: The Amazon Rainforest has been on fire for- Are you yawning Dad?

Randy was yawning.

Stan: Why are you yawning?

Randy: I don't know.

Stan: Are you even listening?

Randy: I stopped listening after you said The Amazon rainforest.

Stan: Dad. This is the last-

Shelly: Shut up turd!

Sharon: Randy! Shelly! If you two interrupt Stan one more time you two are in a heap trouble!

Randy pulled a joint out of his pocket and lit it.

Sharon: Randy!

Stan: Dad!

Shelly: Can I have some?!

Sharon: N-

Randy: Of course Shelly. Since I don't care what you're brother's talking about.

Randy gave Shelly a joint and lit it for her.

Sharon: That's it!

Sharon grabbed the both of them by their ears.

Randy and Shelly: Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!

Sharon: Stanley. I am so sorry. But your Dad and sister are being stupid.

Sharon was pulling them by the ears and taking them to the car.

Towelie entered the community centre.

Towelie: Hey Randy, I came her to- Holy crap! Don't worry Gus I'll make the meth!

Towelie was referring to the man who turned out to be Giancarlo Esposito.

Giancarlo: I don't even know you.

Towelie: I promise Mr Fring. I'll make you your meth.

Towelie ran out of the community centre.

Sharon: Again Stan. I am so sorry.

Sharon, Randy and Shelly left the community centre.

Stan was about to continue the presentation, until...

Towelie burst in.

Towelie: Oh anyway Stan, your Dad told me to do this.

Towelie grabbed a lighter and set the projector screen on fire.

Stan: Towelie!

Towelie: Your Dad told me to do it, I don't know why.

Stan: You Son of a bitch!

Later.

Tegridy Farms.

Stan was in his room FaceTiming Wendy.

Wendy: I'm sorry your presentation didn't go well Stan and again I'm sorry I couldn't make it. I had family over.

Stan: It's alright Wendy, I understand.

Wendy: I just don't understand.

Stan: I know. What the hell is wrong with my Dad?

Wendy: Not just that. What was Giancarlo Esposito doing in South Park?

Stan: Is that really important?

Wendy: I know it doesn't seem important, but what is a supporting character on one of the greatest TV shows of all time doing in a small town like South Park?

Stan: I have no idea.

Wendy: Look Stan. I hope your cause won't go unnoticed and I'll do my best to support you in all this.

Stan: Thanks Wendy. I'll see you tomorrow. I love you.

Wendy: Love you too Stan. See ya tomorrow.

Wendy hangs up.

Randy enters Stan's room nervous.

Randy: Hey Stan. There's somebody here to see you.

Stan: Who?

Randy: He prefers to be mysterious.

Stan went downstairs to find none other than Giancarlo Esposito sitting on the couch.

Giancarlo: Hello Stan. Please take a seat.

Stan took a seat.

Stan: Mr Esposito what are you doing here in South Park?

Giancarlo: I am here on official business, from an old friend of yours. Who really wants to help you with your cause.

Stan: Who?

Giancarlo: Just an old friend.

Stan: Who?

Giancarlo pulls a murderous glare.

Giancarlo: It is a surprise and I don't like ruining surprises Mr Marsh, so ask anymore questions than there will be trouble.

Stan sat in fear.

Giancarlo smiles.

Giancarlo: Now. You ready to meet my boss?

Stan: Whatever it takes to save the rainforest. Let's meet him.

Giancarlo: Excellent.

Towelie enters the room holding two bags of crystal meth, the same kind they make on Breaking Bad.

Towelie: Here you go Mr Fring. Here's the meth.

Towelie handed Giancarlo the meth.

Giancarlo: Get rid of this meth.

Towelie: But you told me to make it.

Giancarlo pulls a murderous glare.

Giancarlo: If you don't get rid of this meth, than I will burn you and shoot you with my gun. Since you're are a towel.

Towelie: Alright Mr Fring I'll get rid of it.

Towelie takes the meth away.

U-Stor-It Facility.

Giancarlo and Stan opened storage room #089.

Stan: Why is your boss hiding in a storage room?

Giancarlo: Because my boss is working on the second sequel to his Academy Award winning documentary.

Stan: Second sequel?

Voice: Is he here Gustavo?

Giancarlo: Yes. And it's Giancarlo Esposito. I am not Gustavo Fring.

Voice: Excellent.

The figure came out of the shadow to reveal Al Gore but he shaved his beard.

Stan: Oh no.

Al Gore: Boy one. You are the one who is trying to spread awareness about the Amazon rainforest.

Stan: No! No! I would rather work with Leonardo DiCaprio, Mr Esposito. But not this nut job. He barley did anything to stop ManBearPig, leading me and my friends to get the blame for his rampage.

Giancarlo: I can assure you Mr Marsh. Mr Gore won't do anything stupid this time.

Al Gore: Listen Boy one. We're the only ones who can stop this. You, me and Gus.

Giancarlo: Giancarlo!

Stan: Mr Gore. You got me in danger tons of times. So I'm not doing it.

Al Gore: But why?! Why won't you take me cereal?!

Stan: I will help you and Giancarlo-

Al Gore: Gus!

Giancarlo: Giancarlo!

Stan: I will help you as long as you apologise.

Al Gore: For what?

Stan: For locking me and my friends in a cave, nuking Imaginationland killing me and leaving me to deal with ManBearPig!

Al Gore: Al Gore never apologises.

Stan: Than I'm not helping.

Giancarlo: Al!

Giancarlo does his murder glare.

Giancarlo: You will apologise to this little boy or otherwise I will never do the narration for An Inconvenient Truth 3.

Al Gore: Damn! You are so good at that glare.

Stan: You ready to apologise?

Al Gore: Yes. I am sorry.

Stan: That...didn't sound cereal at all.

Al Gore (Crying): Please Boy one. I am cereal! I am super duper cereal! I am sorry!

Stan: Lets see how you like it Mr Gore.

Stan left the storage room.

Giancarlo: This is what happens Mr Gore. The later you apologise, the more the people you've wronged don't want to forgive.

Al Gore: I will show Boy one I am sorry. No matter the cost.

South Park Elementary.

4th Grade class.

Mrs Nelson was teaching the students about ManBearPig.

Mrs Nelson: And in 2018, Greta Thunberg gave a speech and told the government to do something about ManBearPig and-

Al Gore suddenly bursts in.

Al Gore: Boy one I am sorry. I am cereal.

Stan: I'm still not forgiving you Mr Gore.

Al Gore: You will. I am cereal.

Mrs Nelson: Mr Gore, if you could just-

Al Gore: Oh you're doing a lesson about Greta Thunberg?

Mrs Nelson: Actually it's about ManBearPig and Greta-

Al Gore: Is a liar. Boo! She doesn't know about ManBearPig. I am cereal.

In the hallway.

Stan was getting some stuff out of his locker.

Al Gore: Boy one I am incredibly sorry. What will it take for you to accept my apology?

Stan: When you mean it.

Al Gore: But I do mean it!

Stan: Leave me alone Gore. I'm in school, go bother Leonardo DiCaprio.

Al Gore: Please I am cereal.

Stan: Than you leave me no choice Mr Gore.

PC Principal walked past.

Stan: PC Principal.

PC Principal: How can I help Marsh?

Stan: Al Gore said that Caitlyn Jenner isn't a hero.

PC Principal: What?! Mr Gore are you disrespecting Caitlyn Jenner for being a brave person?!

Mr Gore: No I will never disrespect Bruce.

PC Principal: You did it again! You have two weeks detention Mr Gore congrats.

Al Gore: You can't put Al Gore in detention.

Al Gore disappears.

Al Gore: And that was the Al Gore hologram.

PC Principal crossed his arms.

Al Gore: But Al Gore still gets detention?

Stan: And he also said that Greta Thunberg isn't a hero.

PC Principal: What?!

Stan: Start running Mr Gore.

Al started to run and PC Principal made chase to him.

At lunch.

Stan, Kyle, Cartman, Kenny, Butters, Clyde, Token and Jimmy were having their lunch, when "You Know Who" approaches them wearing a fake moustache.

Al Gore: Boy one.

Stan: Not again.

Al Gore: I am really sorry for...What did I do again?

Cartman: You tell us Mr Gore.

Al Gore: Alright I'll apologise to all of you I've wronged. I'm sorry Boy one, I'm sorry Boy two, I'm sorry Boy three and I'm sorry Fat boy.

Cartman: Oh fuck you.

PC Principal approaches the table.

PC Principal: Excuse me. Have any of you seen Al Gore? He's-

Stan tears Al Gore's moustache.

Stan: Over here PC Principal.

Al Gore starts running again.

PC Principal: Al Gore! You will change your mind!

At recess.

Stan, Kyle, Cartman, Kenny, Craig, Token, Clyde and Tweek were playing football, when Al Gore showed up.

Al Gore: Boy one! I am-

Suddenly Craig threw the ball at Al's head and Al got knocked out.

Craig: I am tired of you. And I am cereal.

Craig flips Al off.

Starks Pond.

Stan and Wendy were holding hands and walking around Stark's Pond.

Wendy: Aren't you still gonna continue on spreading awareness about the Amazon Rainforest?

Stan: I started to try on social media. I already posted it and I already got a like from Leonardo DiCaprio.

Wendy: Are you lying?

Stan: No.

Wendy: You sure you're not trying to piss me off?

Stan: No.

Wendy playfully pushes Stan.

Wendy: You are such a liar Stan Marsh.

Stan: No I'm not. I'll prove it to you.

Suddenly they were approached by Giancarlo.

Giancarlo: Mr Marsh.

Stan: What does Al want now Giancarlo?

Giancarlo: I'm not speaking on his behalf, I am speaking on my own. He wouldn't show, because he's in the hospital after suffering a head injury from some angry little boy. Listen Stan, Mr Gore is really sorry for trapping you in a cave, leaving you to deal with ManBearPig and killing you.

Wendy: What?

Giancarlo: Your boyfriend died when Imaginationland was nuked by Al Gore until Butters revived him and everyone.

Wendy: Thank God! For a second I thought this was a fake Stan.

Stan: I still won't accept Al's apology.

Giancarlo does his death glare.

Giancarlo: You will accept Mr Gore's apology. Because I'm getting payed by him to narrate An Inconvenient Truth 3. Do you wanna know how much?

Stan: He has money?

Giancarlo: He was the ex Vice President, so chances are he will have some source of cash. And he's paying me three million and you will work with Mr Gore, before things go bad.

Stan: You think doing your death stare is gonna make me change my mind?

Kenny walked up to the group.

Kenny: Hey Stan.

Giancarlo suddenly grabbed Kenny and sliced his neck with a box cutter.

Blood flew into Stan and Wendy's face as Giancarlo rested Kenny's corpse onto the ground.

Giancarlo: You'll be sued.

Stan: Ok. I accept Mr Gore's apology. I just didn't wanna work with him until you threatened to kill me.

Giancarlo: Excellent.

Stan: I really don't want to end up like Kenny.

Giancarlo: Don't worry. He's alive.

But Kenny didn't move.

Giancarlo: Wait, this was the boy I hired right?

Clyde suddenly showed up.

Clyde: Hey Mr Esposito.

They stood quiet for a second.

Clyde: Well.

Giancarlo: What?

Clyde: You hired me to make it look like you sliced my neck. I got the fake neck with fake blood and everything.

Giancarlo stood in shock.

Stan: Oh my God! Giancarlo killed Kenny!

Stan grabbed his phone and started texting.

Broflovski residence.

Kyle was on his computer until he got a notification from Stan on his phone.

Kyle grabbed his phone and looked at the text.

And it read "Oh my God! Giancarlo Esposito killed Kenny".

Kyle: You bastards!

The next day.

Stan made it to an airport runway accompanied by Giancarlo.

Stan and Giancarlo approach the private jet.

Al Gore exited the jet and he had a band aid wrapped around his head.

Al Gore: Boy one. You accepted my apology.

Stan: I had to.

Al Gore: Great. Anyway, we have a few more other environmental activists accompanying us. Meet Fat Boy, French Girl, Dumb Boy and Butters.

Fat Boy, French Girl, Dumb Boy and Butters, were Cartman, Wendy, Clyde and obviously Butters.

Butters: Hey Stan.

Cartman: Hey Stan.

Stan: Cartman?

Cartman: I know right?

Stan: Why the hell are you here?

Cartman: Because I care about the Amazon.

Stan: No you do not.

Cartman: Yes I do.

Stan: You only came because you discovered that Giancarlo Esposito is accompanying us. And you love Breaking Bad and Gustavo Fring is your favourite character.

Cartman: What? That's ridiculous. It's Windy who only cares about Giancarlo.

Wendy: I am an environmental activist as well fat ass.

Stan: Clyde why are you here? You don't care about The Amazon.

Clyde: I don't. But I wanted Giancarlo to pay me. So I decided to accompany him wherever he's going.

Butters: And I've always wanted to go to Brazil.

Al Gore: Come Boy one and Gus. We got work to do.

Later.

Al's private jet took off and they were on there way to the Amazon.

Al Gore: You got your speech ready?

Stan: Well I've been writing it all day.

Wendy: Mr Gore. I've read your speech and it's just a never ending rant on why Greta Thunberg is a liar.

Clyde: And I also found the script to An Inconvenient Truth 3: Stop Listening To Greta Thunberg as narrated by Giancarlo Esposito. Oh that explains why Giancarlo is accompanying that nut job.

Al Gore: I am not a nut job. I am a very cereal person.

Butters: Yeah Clyde. Please respect Mr Gore. He and Greta are trying to do great things for our planet.

Al Gore: Did you say Greta's doing great things?

Butters: Yeah.

Butters smiled.

Al Gore: Stop sitting next to me you Thunberg supporter.

Butters' smile turned into a frown and he got off his seat.

Cartman was smiling at Giancarlo.

Giancarlo: You've been smiling at me throughout our journey.

Cartman: I know. It's just I'm sitting with Gustavo Fring from Breaking Bad.

Giancarlo pulled his murder glare.

Giancarlo: You will wipe that stupid grin off your face before I staple a frown onto it.

Cartman: Oh my God! He's doing his murder glare! Hold still for a second!

Cartman grabbed his phone and took a selfie with Giancarlo who still pulled his murder glare.

Cartman: Oh my God! Social media's gonna boom with this photo.

Cartman posts the image on Instagram.

Cartman already got 7 comments.

One of them was from Towelie and it said "Stay the fuck away from him. It's Gustavo Fring. The scariest motherfucker who ever existed".

Some time later.

Stan was sleeping with Wendy laying on his shoulder.

When all of a sudden.

The plane made a tremor.

Stan woke up.

Stan: Huh?

Stan looked out of the window and saw that the plane was flying through a thunderstorm.

Wendy woke up as well.

Wendy: What's going on?

Cartman woke up and he was wearing his pyjamas.

Cartman: Da fuck?

Stan and Wendy just stared at him.

Cartman: What? Am I the only one who sleeps on an airplane wearing pyjamas?

Giancarlo woke up.

Giancarlo stared at Cartman in confusion.

Stan: Al what's going on?

Al woke up.

Al Gore: Oh my God! We're in a thunderstorm! What am I doing in there?

Stan: Huh?

Suddenly Al Gore disappeared.

Stan opened the cockpit and realised that Al's the only pilot.

Stan: Mr Gore! What the fuck are you doing?!

Al Gore: Getting us to our destination quicker.

Suddenly lightning struck one of the wings destroying it.

Butters screamed.

Clyde: We're gonna crash.

Stab: Mr Gore you need to land this plane!

Al Gore: Nonsense! There's only one way!

The plane was going down to the ground and it looked like it was about to crash.

The plane crashes into something and the screen cuts to black.


End file.
